


Second Chances

by dianemaryallison



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Former Lovers - Freeform, Friendship, Getting Back Together, Romance, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-02-26 17:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2661101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dianemaryallison/pseuds/dianemaryallison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Phil Coulson makes things up with Audrey and is about to marry her, he realises he can't. Getting back together with Melinda is all he's ever dreamed of.<br/>He knows there's almost a zero chance of him starting a family with Melinda and he doesn't believe in miracles, but he won't deny one when it happens.<br/>He gets a second chance to do things right and he won't screw up this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. White Deceit

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare yourself for some silly but hopefully amusing AU. I tried to keep everything as close to character as possible but needed to take some liberties to get the set up right.  
> This is kinda first fanfic I've ever posted, so please, point out mistakes gently.  
> I hope you enjoy this as much as I have fun writing this!

He looked around himself. Everything looked beautiful.

 

Audrey had chosen a small chapel in the Oregon city and he had no reason to disagree with her. Surely, she made a brilliant choice. The place looked amazing. He walked around just before the ceremony was about to start to calm himself down at least a bit.

 

The chapel was set in a park, hidden from everyone’s sight, granting them the privacy to make this decision. There was also a garden, if they’d chosen an outdoor wedding but they decided against it. It was September and though it was still pretty warm during the day the night turned chillier by the day.

 

He saw the people chatting quietly, some of them offered him an assuring smile when they saw he was looking. He had to look nervous no doubt. He didn’t feel any differently.

 

They didn’t invite many guests. Audrey’s family was there of course, some of her long-time friends, some musicians from her orchestra. From his side there were just a handful of people he wanted there.

 

He saw Skye chatting with Simmons and Bobbi, giggling quietly over something he didn’t have a doubt was another of Bobbi’s stories from the time she was married to Hunter.

 

Mack, Fitz and Hunter were on the other side of the row where the girls were seated. Lance frowned when he heard the giggles coming from the other side. He was very well aware of the picture Bobbi was making out of him. However, he couldn’t do anything about, not even complain, because he would be instantly silenced with meaningful looks. His presentation of the Huntingbird wasn’t very appealing after all.

 

 “We’re about to start, sir.” Trip announced coming up behind him.

 

He didn’t want Trip to be his best man at first. His first choice was, to no one’s surprise, his best friend. But Melinda had said no and something about best man being an actual man, but it all sounded like excuses to him. He tried to talk her into it, but gave up at last. She could be goddamn stubborn when she wanted. Then somehow the role fell on Trip and he agreed. Phil still wanted Melinda to stand behind him, to have his back as always, but there was a lot to take care of and he didn’t find enough time to talk it properly through with her. 

 

He looked at her now. She sat next to Skye on the very end of the row, not talking to anyone. She got very quiet again lately. Her smirks and small pranks disappeared in the last few weeks and he cursed himself thousand times for not talking to her about it.

 

She probably felt him watching her and lifted her eyes to meet his. His smile brightened. She smiled too. A small, not very convincing smile, that stopped just above her pursed lips, and didn’t reach her eyes. She looked tensed and averted her gaze.

 

Phil didn’t get the time to think about it further because Koenig came around the corner in the back waving at them. He really did good job organising things. Trip nodded back at him and suddenly the music started playing. Coulson smiled happily. It was one Audrey’s favourite cello songs, Pachelbel’s Canon in D, the one she was playing when he first saw her performance. He loved it.

 

Audrey came through the door and he wondered if he’d ever seen someone looking so beautiful. The white velvet dress hugged her tightly till her waist, then expanded into a full skirt that fluttered around her feet as she went down the aisle. Two of some girls from her family, who he’d never met before, held her train, while another two older threw white and pink petals around.

 

He swallowed nervously when she came up to the pedestal standing next to him and handed the small bouquet of purple anemones to her friend Stefani, her maid of honour. She turned to him and his heart melted. He was the happiest man alive. The Officiate started the ceremony “Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Audrey Nathan and Phillip James Coulson in marriage…” Here we go, he thought.

 

_-o0o-_

 

He heard the door opening, turned his head slightly and saw just out of corner of his eye that Melinda slipped out of the room silently, not looking at him.

 

“Do you Phillip James Coulson, take Audrey Nathan to be your lawfully wedded wife, promising to love and cherish, through joy and sorrow, sickness and health, and whatever challenges you may face, for as long as you both shall live?” he heard the Officiate saying.

 

He should say I do. Two simple words and he would commit his life and love to Audrey forever. He opened his mouth but the words caught up in his throat, somehow he couldn’t form them. He stared down at the ring, which Trip handed him earlier, in his hand. A lump formed in his throat. He was being horrible but he couldn’t do this.

 

He closed his hand around the ring and looked up. Audrey was still looking at him with a smile as he held her hand in his. _No, this wasn’t right._ He gulped “I’m sorry.” She frowned a bit, not understanding what he meant. He let go of her hand “I can’t do this.” he confessed, putting the ring in his pocket and walked down from the altar, pacing up as he hurried down the aisle.

 

“Phil!” he heard Audrey calling after him and saw people turning heads to watch him but he didn’t care when he ran out of the door. He had a confession to make.

 

The door swung open and closed behind him and he ran down the marble stairs and over the wooden bridge in front of the chapel, towards the main gate. He spotted her, she had almost reached the entrance.

 

“Melinda!“ he called and watched as she haltered.

 

  
Melinda stopped when she heard _him_ call her name. Her eyes widened. “Phil,” his name slipping from her lips.

 

  
Phil couldn’t hear her, but he didn’t need to. He crossed the few meters that separated them and stopped an arm length from her.

 

 

“What are you doing here? You are getting married!“ she looked at him, emotions mixing on her face.

 

Phil acknowledged the mixed emotion washing over his best friend's beautiful face. _Surprise, confusion,_ he noticed a hint of sadness. He shook his head. “I’m not. At least not now.” her expression didn’t change. _What the hell was he doing?_ He took a deep breath “Okay. Maybe I’m wrong but I’m doing this to prevent the possibly biggest mistake of my life.”

 

She stared at him blankly not getting a word he said.

 

 _Yeah, what was he even doing?_ He loved Audrey. Or so he thought at least. He wasn’t so sure anymore. Audrey was kind and sweet and she laughed easily at his jokes, with her everything was so normal. Life was ordinary once again. _But his wasn’t, was it?_ First working for an espionage and law-enforcement agency, later being its boss wasn’t really the world-spread image of ordinary. He knew, he could never tell her what he was actually doing. More than a half of his life would stay a secret to her forever. He either couldn’t talk about it or he didn’t want to. Not because he didn’t trust her but because it was already incredibly painful for him to cope with it every day and he could imagine how bad it would be for her.

 

Melinda, on the other hand, was an absolute opposite of all that. Not that she wasn’t kind, she was of course. She just hid it all too well for most of the people to see. She wasn’t that open anymore.  She had changed to be cold, so that no one could hurt her.  And she knew him. The most of his time since the Academy, what was almost thirty years, he had spent with her. She was his partner, his best friend, the one person he trusted with his life.

 

 _His former lover_. He thought about their relationship more often than it was probably appropriate. But he couldn’t help himself when he saw her, everyday she was more similar to the Old Melinda.

 

He had thought, he had moved on, happily in love with another woman. Now he saw how silly he really was. Lying to himself.

 

“You’re right, I’m supposed to be up there,” he motioned towards the chapel above them with his head “And get married. Audrey’s a wonderful person and I do love her.”

 

May averted her gaze. _It hurt her hearing him say those words._

 

“But I can’t do that. I…” he sighed “I really hope I’m right and if not - then just forget you’ve ever seen me here. But I’ve had this feeling and I hope it’s not just me making things up because that would…” he was babbling again. And she seemed more distant by a second. He needed to get to his point.

 

“Melinda, I love you.”

 

Her eye snapped back at him, widened. She stared at him in shock, not a single word leaving her lips.

 

“If you don’t feel the same, we can stay friends. I don’t wanna…”

 

He didn’t get to finish his sentence because she closed the gap between them and he found her lips pressed against his. A soft yet firm kiss and he slipped his arms around her waist without even thinking about it. It ended all too quickly for his taste when she broke the kiss and leaned her forehead on his.

 

“I’ve never stopped loving you.” Her eyes were shining with her smile.

 

He kissed her again, one stolen kiss from hopefully many. And then their moment was gone, when they heard people coming out of the chapel looking for him, calling his name. He was just about to pull her further down the path, so the trees would cover them and they wouldn’t be seen from above, but she pushed him away lightly.

 

“You need to go.”

 

“Melinda…” she shook her head with a smile. “Later.”

 

She kissed him quickly, a small peck on the lips, before she loosened her hands around his neck and he let go of her.

 

“I’ll see you on the Bus.”

 

He watched her leave and this time he smiled about. But he smile left him quickly when he saw Audrey standing in the middle of the wooden bridge, looking down at him.

 

He wasn’t sure how to explain this but he knew it changed everything. Maybe he didn’t want Melinda to stand behind him after all. She’d look much better standing by his side. He already loved that image.

 


	2. Lies and Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye's angry at Phil for leaving Audrey standing at the alter which makes him recall some old memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me forever to write this! I'll try to do more during the holiday :) I hope you like this. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

He went out of the chapel, finally organising everything, declaring the whole wedding cancelled. He spoke to Audrey about half an hour ago and offered to take care of everything that was left. This whole mess was his fault after all and arranging things now was the least he could do. It wasn’t a pleasant conversation and Audrey left straight after that. She probably wanted to be as far from him as possible and he didn’t blame her.  _How could he?_   _He behaved like a jerk to her._

 

Taking a deep breath he leaned against the railing, let his head hang for a second.

 

“So that’s it, right? You’re over with her?”  Skye’s voice came from behind him.

 

“Skye…” he sighed. He wasn’t in mood for this conversation now even if Skye meant it well. She had no idea and it had to stay that way. Melinda and he had to talk first, size up their situation. She didn’t tell him if their confessions actually changed something. There was 99 percent chance of them getting together now but still a slight possibility nothing would happen. He couldn’t be sure until they talk it through and he didn’t want to make any statements until he was sure. So now he had to be careful not to spill a word. And he was tired. That wasn’t a good combination especially when he was facing such a sensible person as Skye was. Nevertheless, Skye continued, not listening to his protest.

 

“You run away, leave her standing there and… and what? Why? How could you have done that to her?” She sounded resentful, almost revolted. “You do not leave at your own wedding! That was really low.”

 

He didn’t want to pretend to be crushed. He was terribly sorry for Audrey but didn’t regret his decision. Melinda loved him and he couldn’t be happier.

 

“I know Skye, I’m sorry about it. Really I am. I just… I couldn’t do that.”

 

“Oh my god! You want to tell me you let this fall down because you got cold feet?” She seemed to turn furious. “You know how that poor woman must feel? I would never even think of you doing this, Coulson.”

 

She was right. The only good thing about this whole lecture she was giving him was that she hasn’t spotted May missing. Yet. With her sensing every even the smallest most unnoticeable detail it was just the question of time.

 

Behind Skye - Simmons with Bobbi were coming towards them. 

 

“What is this about?” Bobbi asked as they came into ear reach and listened to Skye’s angry speech. He didn’t even manage to open his mouth before Skye was already talking.

 

“I was just talking to Coulson about what not to do at weddings. Such as running away from the damn altar!” She even stopped calling him A.C. and that happened as often as never nowadays.

 

“Have you seen May? I’d like to talk to her,” he tried to change the topic. Simmons caught the hint and answered before Skye got a chance to scold him further.

 

“We haven’t seen her, sir.”

 

 “Okay.” He wanted this thing to be over. All he wanted was to drive home and dip for the shower. He doubted he’d get to do that. At least not anytime soon.  “Can we go home?”

 

Skye huffed angrily not looking at him anymore. 

 

Simmons kept it more practical. “Have you taken care of everything? Is it all cancelled?” 

 

He nodded sadly. 

 

“I’ll call the boys then.”

 

-o0o-

 

Minutes later they were sitting in cars, ready to head for the Bus. “Has anyone seen May?” Simmons asked through comms from the other car.

 

 Everyone just shook their heads and Mack frowned. “Shouldn’t we go look for her?”

 

“She’ll manage. Just drive.” Phil knew she was long gone by now. Probably on the Bus already.

 

They drove in relative silence, most of them seemed not quite sure how to behave. He didn’t blame them. He without a question acted like a jerk.

 

They were getting out of cars in the cargo on the Bus when Melinda arrived. “May, where were you? We’ve been looking for you.” Simmons exclaimed when she spotted her walking up towards them.

 

“I had to meet someone.” She glanced at Phil shortly. “Tasha was nearby.” 

 

“Is she okay?” 

 

Melinda nodded. “She wanted to talk.” Not saying another word she walked around them towards the staircase and disappeared in the living area.

 

He wanted to follow her lead and get to his room when Skye's voice stopped him. “Are you finally going to explain us why you did that?”

 

He could say no, he probably should. However, he remembered the last time he kept secret from a bunch of girls and even though it ended well for him the last time, he didn’t desire having his nose broken again.

 

_“Come on, May, again? Those poor kids, you’ll scare them off in less than a month if you keep doing this to them.” Hand kept looking at them judgingly after almost every their prank even though she, not quite willingly, took part in some of them. Melinda just rolled her eyes at her._

_“They want to be agents, they need to learn. We don’t do anything bad really.”_

_“Planting food colouring in the showers isn’t bad? They’ll be washing it off for a week!”_

_Melinda chuckled. Their last prank on the freshmen worked out brilliantly. Clint and she planted little colourful capsules into most of the shower heads in the freshmen’s bathrooms and the rest of the Academy rolled laughing on the floor when those kids came out the next day with their heads down as they tried to cover the bright colours of rainbow on their bodies. Hand was right they would be washing it off for at least a week, especially those purple and blue ones. Those who were green could at least pretend to be the Hulk._

_“Don’t be such a killjoy. Laugh a bit. I really don’t understand how Izzy bears you.” Hand glared at her and Melinda laughed. They were always mocking each other knowing that neither meant it._

_“Anyway, if you happen to think about something else than your pranks once in a while you might…”_

_Hand’s speech trailed off as she stopped and stared over at something. Melinda frowned, that was unlike Victoria, she was always focused and kind of stern, didn’t happen to stare so openly often. May followed Hand’s gaze down to the yard under the terrace where they were now standing and frozed herself. She watched Phillip Coulson making out with some blonde girl who had him pressed against wall. Melinda had never seen that woman before which wasn’t an excuse for him to kiss her._

_Phil was dating May for over half a year and it was serious between them. Or so she thought. Now she watched him pushing that girl away, talking to her. Whatever he said she reached for him again and he fling his head back and looked in May’s direction. Then he saw her as she was staring blankly at him and she could see the horror showing on his face even from that far away. She could run down there and shout at him for cheating on her, maybe punch him, but decided against it. She would save as much of her dignity, wouldn’t do him a scene. She turned on her hill and walked out of there as fast as she could without simply running, Hand followed her quickly._

_Before she even realised it, she was at her dorm and stormed in what surprised Maria. Hill had been Melinda's roommate since she joined the Academy about three months after May._

_“Hey. Don’t you have class? what’s wrong?” Hill gave Hand a questioning look when May stayed silent._

_“Coulson’s an ass. He cheated on Mel.”_

_“What?” Hill seemed as surprised as Melinda was. “Are you okay?”_

_“I’m fine.” Melinda answered quickly and walked over to the cabinet where they kept a little of some alcohol. She poured herself a shot of tequila and downed it. She hated tequila. She drank another._

-o0o-

_10 minutes later Phil Coulson was standing at their door, trying to talk Maria into letting him in. “Maria please, just let me talk to her.”_

_“Get your lying ass out of here. Do you think she…”_

_“Melinda.” He stood up straight as he saw her coming up behind Maria. “Mells, it’s not as it seemed, I didn’t…”_

_“Doesn’t matter.” Her voice was freezing cold, she kept her expression blank though everything boiled inside her. He swallowed._

_“Please…” He sounded so desperate. Desperate for her to believe him. She wouldn’t, not again. She opened up for him as for no one ever before, let him get under her skin, believed him when he held her and whispered sweet nothing about loving her into her ear. She was mad at him for lying to her but she was even more furious at herself for believing him._

_He watched her with those pleading puppy eyes she thought were so sweet and sincere. She clenched her fists._

_“Don’t ever come here again, don’t talk to me, don’t get in my way. Get out of my life. Now.”_

_She spitted the last words at him through gritted teeth, unsure if she would be able to speak them later. He seemed like he was about to beg for her forgiveness kneeling in front of her. That might work on her. Then he opened his mouth and she punched him. He stumbled backwards, holding his now heavily bleeding nose and she slammed the door shut._

_Once she was inside she leaned her back against the wall and closed her eyes. Just then she got it. He cheated on her. She broke up with him. She didn’t want to see him again. Except that wasn’t true. She loved him. Really loved him with all her heart. She dated guys before but it was always about attraction rather than deeper feelings whereas Phil… Instead a smile that appeared most of the time she was thinking about him, there were tears in her eyes now._

_She slid down the wall slowly, rested her forehead against her knees. Maria knelt down next to her rubbing her back softly. “Mel, he’s not worth it. You deserve someone better.”_

_There was no sign of anger and hatred that sprinkled her roommate’s voice when she spoke to Phil instead it was gentle full of sincere concern. That didn’t help either. Then again she doubted something would help her much now._

-o0o-

_Despite her request he came to her, tried to talk to her, failed every time. It was two months since she caught him cheating on her, since she ended their contact by punching him. His nose was almost healed now there wasn’t much more than a faint bruise on his face that reminded her of their last conversation. She made a great effort to ignore him every time he turned up somewhere close to her which wasn’t easy. A part of her still wanted to believe him, to forgive him, to have him back._

_As time went by his attempts to talk to her became less frequent and he restricted to watching her sadly from afar. He knew her schedule as his own and mostly stayed nearby thought out of her way. To his credit he hadn’t provoked her and kept the blondie bitch out of her sight. It almost seemed as if he hadn’t met her since._

_Four days ago some idiot broke pipes in the West wing and two whole floors were flooded. About 60 people, Hill and she among them, were moved temporarily to the East wing._

_Melinda would kill the person if she knew who’d done it. Not because of the room, none of their personal belongings got destroyed entirely and where they lived now was the same as before. No, the room wasn’t her problem._

_Phil Coulson living not more than five rooms away from her, on the other hand, was. Living now so close to him made it even simpler for them to meet accidently. She almost bumped into him when she was leaving the gym in the morning._

_Melinda walked down the hall towards the kitchen quickly. She hadn’t stopped herself since the morning nor had she had time to make herself something to eat and she was starving. She was just about five steps from the kitchen where she finally could make herself fried rice when she heard voice coming from inside of the kitchen. She froze then groaned annoyed._

_Of course he would be there, it was late afternoon and he had combat classes the whole day long. She didn’t doubt he spent his lunch break stuck in the library with his nose buried in books as he did so often. She knew his schedule as well and though she wouldn’t admit it she often caught herself thinking about where his was._

_Her rumbling stomach interrupted her thoughts. Maybe she could go over to Clint and eat some of his emergency supplies or she could try to persuade Hill or Hand to go for a dinner with her albeit she knew they weren’t very likely to come as they had an exam the following day. She was already walking away when she stopped abruptly again and listened more carefully._

_“Don’t you get it Garrett? I love her!” Phil exclaimed._

_She heard a disdainful laughter she knew was coming from Garrett. “Don’t be stupid, Coulson. May’s hot, yes, but you had your part with her, find someone other to bang around. That chick you made out with, she looked good too. What do you have with her?”_

_“Nothing! I dated her for a few months back in NSA but we broke up and she doesn’t want to understand that I don’t want her.”_

_“Did you get her laid?” Garrett was disgusting, Melinda didn’t understand why would such a sweet guy as Phil even talked to that dumb ass but he seemed to do it quite often._

_“Forget it.” Phil sighed and May heard chairs moving when someone left the kitchen quickly._

_“Come on, Coulson.” Garrett called after him but he was already leaving. Fortunately for Melinda he went in the other direction as she was standing._

_Could she be that wrong? Did Phil not cheat on her? Did he really love her? She didn’t want to think about him anymore, she wanted to get over him, to forget him. Maybe then her chest wouldn’t hurt so damn much every time she saw him. She shook her head quickly as if trying to get rid of those thoughts but they were stuck in her mind._

_She needed a break. And something to eat quickly. She headed to Clint's as her stomach rumbled again._

-o0o-

_“Anyway, Hand called. She wanted to invite us to her and Izzy’s engagement party next week. She still wasn’t sure where to do it and she hoped we could help her with the organisation. So what do you think? Hey! Earth to May. Are you even listening to me?” Maria snapped her fingers in front of May’s face._

_“Huh?” they were sitting in the cafeteria having their lunch. Maria looked slightly annoyed but she still excused Melinda when she seemed to get lost in her thoughts. “Ehm, yes, sure we can help them.”_

_Melinda looked at her watch. “We should go, we’ll be late again.”_

 

_Maria nodded shoving the last mouthful of her chocolate cake into her mouth and standing up. Melinda got up as well gathering her things into her bag._

_They were leaving when she spotted Coulson sitting about to tables behind them staring at her sadly. Walking towards the exit, Maria was talking about some restaurant where they could get a good price if they asked soon enough but Melinda wasn’t listening again._

_She wanted to make herself leave without meeting his gaze as they were passing around him but however hard she tried, she failed and her eyes locked on with his. She was unable to look away mesmerised by him, lost in the sea of blue. Phil stood up not looking away even for a second and was coming around the table that parted him from Melinda when Maria realised she left her behind._

_“What are you doing? May we need to go.” She glared over at Phil but Melinda didn’t move._

_“Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you.”_

_“May..?”_

_“Don’t worry.” She granted Maria a small smile that made her even more alarmed but she nodded slowly._

_“Don’t be late.” Then she left looking over at them through the window again when once she was outside._

_“You have five minutes ‘till my class starts.”_

 

_He got his bag. “We’ll better get going or you’ll have another record for being late. Davies won’t let you pass his class if you keep doing that.” He knew her all too well._

_She remained silent when they were walking side by side down the alley. They weren’t as close together as they used to be but far closer than they should have. He glanced over at her._

_“I didn’t cheat on you. The girl you saw was my ex-girlfriend. I dated her for about four months back in the NSA. I broke up with her because I found out I didn’t feel about her in the way I thought I did and I didn’t want to lie to her. I transferred two months after that and kind of forget about her. I didn’t tell you about her because I didn’t suppose it mattered in any way.”_

_“Did you transfer because of her?” Those were her first words to him and he took it as a good sign she was actually listening to him._

_“No, not because of her. When I said I changed my mind about my future profession I didn’t lie. I’d still want to be a field agent.” He got silent for a while and they just walked towards her class slowly._

 

_Melinda was trying to decide whether she should believe him or not._

_“Her name’s Camila. She said she arranged some short term attachment somewhere close at hand so that we could be together. She didn’t listen to me when I told her we were over.”_

_They were just about ten more meters from her class when he first touched her. He got hold of her upper arm to stop her and make her face him again._

_“I didn’t cheat on you.” He said that countless times already. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. But I would never cheat on you. Mells, I love you.”_

_She stared at him looking somehow scared not saying a word. But she didn’t move away when he leaned closer what encouraged him to move further until he had his face centimetres from hers. Maybe she was stupid and making a mistake when she believed him but she wanted him back badly. She already was heartbroken so there wasn’t left much that he could destroy in the case he was actually lying._

_She tilted her head and pressed her lips against his gently. He smiled into their kiss, pulled her into an embrace and she let him. She missed him. She had her hands tangled in his hair when she heard steps behind her._

_“Ms. May.” They broke apart and she turned to face the strict face of Mr. Davies. “I believe you should be in the class.” He passed around them and held the door opened for her._

_“See you later.” He smiled at her and she returned it before running quickly inside the room._

-o0o-

_“Okay, Coulson. May says, even though I think she’s gone insane, that we’re not supposed to blow up your toilet.”_

_Phil had yet to face Victoria and not very trusting Maria. He was waiting for Melinda. He had invited her for a dinner that night and was in the lobby when those two caught him. Melinda might have accepted his apology but he’d have hard time persuading these two to believe him. However, he didn’t mind. He loved her and that was all that mattered to him. If he had to put up with overprotective friends he would. He was kind of happy she had friends like that it assured him she would be taken care of if anything happened._

_“I would very much appreciate if you didn’t.” Whilst Hand was talking Hill glared at him. “If you do something like that ever again I will make sure you die.” He was very much aware that she wasn’t entirely joking and gulped nervous. Melinda’s entry saved him from another life threats._

_“Hi.”_

_“Hi. You look beautiful.” She wore a short dark purple dress with puffy skirt, her hair fell down on her shoulder in soft curls and she smiled happily._

_“We should go if we want to get there in time.” He glanced at Hill and she pointed her fingers at him as in 'I’m-watching-you' gesture. Melinda chuckled next to him. “Are you having fun on my account?”_

_“What if I am?” He shook his head with exasperated sigh. They left Hill and Hand behind as they walked outside. The restaurant wasn’t far away they would be there in less than 15 minutes._

_She caught his hand entwined fingers with his. “I love you too."_

 

_He looked over at her and pulled her closer._

 

_“But don’t keep things from me,” Melinda added._

 

_Phil gave a nod of the head. “Okay, I promise.”_

 

 

He turned back to Skye with a sigh. “Okay. I’ll try.”

 

-o0o-

 

Finally, he answered most of Skye’s questions and though she didn’t seem quite content, she had let him go. He still didn’t tell anyone this whole fuss was because of him being a fool, who lived in denial. Not even such a percipient person as Skye had found out. He wasn’t sure how things were going to be and he wanted it sorted out before he’d make any statements.

 

So now he stood in the doorframe of bathroom just watching Melinda. She had her head down, standing in front of a mirror. She had changed from the dress he knew she was uncomfortable in, into yoga pants and tank top.

 

She never liked dress much. It lacked the kind of protection she needed. She only wore it on missions. Or when she wanted to make him happy. He loved seeing her in fluffy skirts or tight fitting gowns. She used to wear such things when they attended some of the numerous family events of his or when they were on a date.

 

Now, she was trying to get her hair untangled. She had it pinned up for the wedding, but that was finally over and her head had hurt already. She brushed her hand through the normally soft now very messy waves and found a pin in there. She winced slightly as she pulled it out along with a number of hair stuck in it.

 

“Let me.”

 

He announced his presence while walking over to her. She looked up, saw his image in the mirror and let her hands rested by her sides as he picked another pin on her head, pulling it out gently.

 

“So... where were we?” she watched his reflection standing motionless.

 

“Skye let you get out alive?” she asked with a slight grin.

 

“She thinks I’m a jerk and probably shouldn’t get involved with anyone for the rest of my worthless existence."

 

“Are you going to listen to her?”

 

“Should I? She’s smart but… I don’t know yet.”

 

“Did you talk to Audrey?” Suddenly she sounded somehow insecure.

 

“Yes, we… I tried to explain it to her.”

 

“Tried to?”

 

“It was hard to get things straight. But we sorted it out.” He met her eyes in the mirror. All of the pins now laid on the table in front of them her hair falling on her shoulders. He brushed it to the side so he’d get access to her neck. Later.

 

“It wasn’t all that bad,” She supplied. “She’ll get over it.” 

 

Phil doubted he’ll ever see her again. Portland was a safe zone for him from now on.

 

Melinda kept watching him. “What do you want?”

 

 _You_  was his first thought and he almost let his tongue slip. But that would be pathetic and he wanted to give her more than that.

 

“Commitment. The whole deal.”

 

“You’ve just ran out of one.”

 

 _Yeah, right._  Obviously, starting a new relationship on the wrecks of a going-to-be-marriage was a great idea. “If I promise you, I’ll spend the rest of my life with you, I want to keep that promise. I wouldn’t have with Audrey. I couldn’t. It just took me very long till I realised that and then it had gone too far by then.”

 

 “Are you sure you want to do this? With me?” He saw the hope on her face but also the fear in her eyes. She was clearly insecure. He understood why. They were adults now, no teenagers without an idea what was the outside world like anymore. And there were also restrictions. Not as many and strict as before, the S.H.I.E.L.D had changed and he was the Director after all, but with great power come great responsibilities and there was no chance that they could just run away from all that anymore.

 

“Only if that’s want you want.”

 

Finally, she smiled and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  She turned in his arms and cradled his face, there was just a tiny gap between them.

 

“I’d like that very much.” She kissed him.

 

It was as a dream comes true. A dream he didn’t even dream any longer. He got his second chance to be with Melinda May and he’d make damn sure he didn’t screw up.

 

 


	3. Second First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Valentine and there's no way Phil lets Melinda do paperwork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Valentine helped me to find the much needed filler for this chapter and I couldn't be happier about it. ^_^

“What’re you doing?” Phil asked leant against the doorframe into his office. He watched Melinda sitting on the couch in the corner doing some of the never ending paperwork that seemed to just materialize on his desk every time he looked away.

  


“Paperwork.” she stated the obvious not looking at him.

  


“Yes, I can see that. Why?”

  


“Because it needs to be done and since there’s no emergency or anything…” she shrugged.

  


“But it’s Valentine’s day!” he pushed himself away from the door and walked to stand in front of her. Finally, she looked at him but her face was the exact opposite of his thrilled expression.

  


He was always the one to remind her of holiday like this. Not that she didn’t remember the date, she just never got that enraptured. He, on the other hand, took every opportunity to get away from work and celebrate a little. These moments lessened now that he became the Director.

  


“I’m not letting you sit here do stupid papers for the rest of the day.”

  


“They won’t disappear, Phil. Someone has to do it.”

  


She always sacrificed herself for the others whether it was taking a bullet or sitting over desk work for hours without end.  But Phil was not letting her do that this time. The rest of the team get their afternoon off and went out and he had every intention doing so with her. This could be their first Valentine’s evening that they spend together after over a decade so sure as hell it wasn’t going to be at the base.

  


“Why wouldn’t they? I don’t even know how they all get here, maybe if we let it be they’re get lost again.” Melinda narrowed her eyes at him, a look that begged him to talk seriously.

  


God, she could be stubborn. Exactly this particular feature of her got them into so many troubles back in the days. But it was always fun. Even if they had to write dozens of extra essays and unnecessarily rub clean all of the bathrooms in the Academy campus. They got it all splashed with colour two weeks later but as no one could prove who really stood behind that prank they spent their afternoons more pleasantly than with a brush in hand. But now her being hardheaded was only working against his plans. He wouldn’t give up that easily.

  


“Melinda, all I’m asking is that you leave this be for tonight and go out with me. For a dinner.  Date.”

  


Waiting for her reaction made him squirm uncomfortably. Phil almost forgot how nervous he always got about the whole dating thing. It didn’t matter through what all they went together nor how serious their relationship was before. This was new and on a whole different level. And it was still too fragile. He didn’t want to give anything a chance to go south.

  


Luckily for him, she seemed to like his idea. Melinda dropped the folder she was reading into her lap and leaned against the back of the couch, a smirk playing on her lips.

  


“Are you asking me out, Director?” She asked with playfulness lacing her tone.

  


“Oh, haven’t I done that yet?” Phil shot back as a smile slipped across his lips.

  


“No. And if my memory doesn’t lie, it’s against the protocol.”

  


Phil could hear the teasing in her voice even though she wore an impassive mask. “Tell me the one time you cared about that?” he took the file from her and left it on the coffee table behind him, taking her hands in his instead.

  


“I’m older now. I should be more respectful, shouldn’t I?”

  


“I’d still bet all my money on you being just the same.”

  


“I’m not the same.” Her face saddened and she dropped her gaze to her hands in his. That was not what he meant and he knew they’d come to this discussion again but for now he wanted to make her happy.

  


Phil could see the slight sadness that etched across her beautiful face. “I know. And I love you,” he kissed her hand.

  


“I love you too.” She said quietly and he smiled.

  


Phil heard that hundreds of times from her and it still made his heart skip a beat every time. “So you’ll go out with me?”

  


“Yes.”

  


Phil beamed at her and she couldn’t help but join his smile. She let him pull her up from the couch and lead her out of his office towards their rooms. Most of the time Melinda still slept in her room, where Phil occasionally joined her if he finished before she got up to do her early morning routine.

  


They didn’t really get a chance to be just the two of them since he ran away from his wedding alter almost five months ago and she gave them another chance.  Actually, it seemed to be even less than before. It was no surprise that he worked long, probably way longer than physically even possible, sometimes until the early morning when just the light of sunrise sent him off to bed after countless cups of coffee. Melinda woke up early and spent most of her days outside the base. And she travelled a lot. She returned from Europe two weeks ago. What was meant to be a week op turned out to be over a month as she travelled through half of the continent visiting other bases as well as recruiting new agents, to do that he needed someone he could trust and she was the one whom he trusted with his life.

  


While all that, getting some alone time proved to be almost impossible not just because of how time demanding their job was but also because if they wanted to keep their relationship a secret they couldn’t just lock the door and hang a sock on it. All in all, after over four months they didn’t move from the spot they started on. That wasn’t exactly what he understood under a _relationship._

  


“Give me fifteen minutes.” She pecked him on the lips before she disappeared inside her room.

  


-o0o-

  


Half an hour later they walked down the hall towards the garage hand in hand. The base was almost abandoned, everyone enjoying their time out.

  


Phil drove them to the nearest town and parked Lola outside the restaurant just about the time of sunset.

  


A knot was building in his stomach while on the road and even though Phil knew it was stupid and absolutely pointless, he was nervous. It all faded when they settled down at their table and he saw her smiling at him brightly.

  


They had gone on more dates than he could count and the memories of the most memorable ones came into his mind.

  


_Melinda climbing the highest tree in the park just to prove him she could after they went for a picnic._

  


_A totally disastrous mission when they went to a drive-in cinema instead of debrief._

  


_Them attending his cousin’s wedding for the first time as a couple._

  


_Three kilometres race over the Great Chinese Wall when they went to visit her grandmother._

_Their first date._

  


_-o0o-_

  


_Melinda slowly became known for her amazing fighting skills and she became the object of many guys’ fantasies. Phil was no exception, he had crush on her for almost as long as he was in the SHIELD Academy. They weren’t exactly friends but they had many mutual and they spoke together for a few times._

  


_Phil wasn’t sure how or why or what happened but at one moment he was watching her secretly over the edge of his book and in other he was standing in front of her asking her out. Maria, her roommate and best friend, gave him a sympathetic look clearly amused by his attempts to ask Melinda out. However, her mouth along with his, dropped open when Melinda agreed._

  


_So now Phil stood in front of the mirror in his room, frowning at his reflection. He spent the last two hours trying to figure out what to do and where to take her. In the end he decided to go old fashioned but safe on a dinner with her. He tried on all of his clothes and seriously considered wearing a suit but later decided against it and chose his simple wear, navy blue shirt with jeans and his beloved brown leather jacket. Phil thought only women had troubles choosing their outfit._

  


_He stopped in the near flower shop and bought her a bouquet of bright coloured tulips. Thoughts of turning on his heel and running away crossed his mind as he entered the building she lived in. But he wouldn’t do that. Would Cap run away? No. So nor could he._

  


_Tensed Phil knocked on her door and handed her the flowers while awkwardly babbling until she stopped him with a peck on his cheek. “Thanks.” Melinda smiled and his stomach made a triple flip._

  


_They got to the restaurant quickly and Phil let her choose the table in the farthest, most hidden corner of the room. She didn’t want to be seen with him? His heart sank with that thought but he chose to ignore it._

  


_They both gave up on personal questions after a few minutes as Melinda didn’t desired that kind of conversation and he spoke too much which concluded into an awkward breaks in the end. Instead he chose to talk about something they had in common. Their current studies happened to be just that. She was almost three years younger than all the cadets in their year which allowed him to ask why she chose to join SHIELD and their conversation focused on fighting and espionage skills._

  


_It was almost pleasant until Phil found out who her S.O happened to be. Peggy Carter, the Director, the legend, one of the founders of SSR, partner of Steve Rogers. Phil couldn’t contain his excitement as he started about how much he admired Director Carter and how lucky Melinda was to have her as her Operative. It didn’t take long till his marvelling turned focus Captain America.  He kept fanboying and after another solid hour came their evening to end._

  


_Just as they were walking back towards her bunk Phil realised how much he screwed up. Major blooper. He had probably never embarrassed himself this much yet. They parted after she gave him her number and wished him good night, pecking his cheek once again. Even as he thought about how Melinda smiled at him hours later when laying in his bed he was still certain she would never want to talk to him in her life._

  


_That’s also why he decided not to call her the next day. She lived less than two minutes away from him and they often met in the gym in the morning so Phil came to a conclusion that it would be better if he stayed in his room and studied the whole day. After all they had exams coming the next month and he wanted to get the best marks so he could sign up for higher level courses._

  


_He was able to avoid meeting her even the day after that but then they had a class together and there was no way he wouldn’t meet he. He considered the possibility of coming late and exiting before anyone else had a chance to catch him but that seemed like a thing only a coward would do. He wanted to be more than that. Instead he joined her when she was leaving the class._

  


_“Hey.” He caught up on her and picked up her pace._

  


_“Hi.” Melinda looked at him briefly nodding._

  


_“How are you?”_

  


_“Fine.” She looked tense._

  


_“You sure?”_

  


_“Yes.”_

  


_They continued outside heading for the cafeteria. They always had lunch together. Well, with the others but still together._

  


_“You didn’t call.” she commented after a while and he couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in her voice._

  


_And here we go_. _He gulped. “No. I figured out I screwed up and you probably didn’t want to hear from me ever again.”_

  


_“That’s why I gave you my number, right?” Melinda was annoyed._

  


_Oh. Hell!_ Now _he screwed up. “I… You weren’t… God!” he smacked his forehead with his palm. “I thought after I babbled about Director Carter and Captain America the whole night you didn’t want to see me again.”_

  


_“I still thought you’d call,” she kept her gaze away when he looked at her. He was officially the biggest idiot in the campus. No one could do worse than him. “Maybe you could fix it,” he almost didn’t hear her in over the loud chatter in the lunchroom._

_“I could?” he frowned. Then his eyes widened with realisation. “Would you want to try again with me?” He got what she meant, right? He wasn’t sure about anything anymore.  Was she actually being serious about him?_

  


_“I would.” She smiled._

-o0o-

  


Even after all this time Phil still couldn’t believe his luck. When it went about dating he was a total klutz. Sweet and adorable and charming, as she said, but still a klutz.

  


They were both stressed and exhausted but for once it didn’t bother him and he felt most relaxed in months. They easily slipped into conversation, Phil picked up his humour and Melinda rolled her eyes at him laughing at his terrible jokes. The food arrived quickly and it was excellent, accompanied with spectacular wine, even if neither of them drank much.

  


Afterwards, they went for a walk and it was the best feeling to have her so close to him. Melinda got to her playful mood, the one that he loved so much, so he couldn’t be mad at her when she somehow only god knows where found enough snow to form a snowball which then landed in the middle of his chest. Phil laughed as he coughed her and got the snow from his shirt under the collar of her coat while she twisted in his arms. He wanted to make this a nice evening and it felt wonderful, better than he could have hoped.

  


It wasn’t late after midnight when they returned to the Playground, both sparkling with joy. He last felt this happy as a young agent soon after their graduation when they were not yet familiar with what was waiting for them. They naturally got to her room and landed on her bed kissing.

  


-o0o-

  


The one thing that surprised him as the sun radiating through the curtains woke him was Melinda, who was still laying curled into his side and… sleeping? He looked over on the clock on her night stand. Nine twenty.

  


Wait. _Nine twenty?!_ He was supposed to be up for three hours already. Not to mention she seemed to miss her morning session with Skye. Thinking about Skye… _Did anyone see them?_ Skye had to come here when Melinda didn’t turn up in the gym. They were probably looking for them and he wasn’t sure if the door was even locked.

  


Melinda squirmed under his arm, waking up. She looked so peaceful, so lovable like that. All of her worries lifted from her shoulders. He wanted to savour the moment. _What did it matter if anyone saw them?_ They’ll find out eventually.

  


Melinda rubbed her face into his chest and he kissed the top of her head. “Hey.”

  


She hummed sleepily before propping herself and looking at him. It was long since he last saw her waking up smiling. She leant down to press her lips to his.

  


Their lives were changing constantly and it wasn’t always just for the better but he had a feeling this was beginning of something good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all forms of non-hate aka love... (And point out mistakes gently, please.)

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this I couldn't decide, what Coulson's middle name would be and I seriously considered calling him Phillip Jesus Coulson, but than a friend informed me it was kinda too much. So this works just fine I hope.


End file.
